I heard voices through the wall

When I was a kid, I heard a voice calling out, “Edddy, come!” When I opened my eyes, I saw fingers traversing the wall, followed by the entire body of an astronaut calling out, “Edddy, Come with us.” I ran screaming down the hallway because I was so terrified. you should get back to sleep, my uncle advised me. After telling my friends about it the next day, I drew on the floor and received praise for it. “waow, you draw really good!” I was probably 4 years old, but I can still clearly recall this exact moment. I felt really good after this kid compliment, so I continued to draw. After that, my family and I moved to Belgium, and I soon forgot about this astronaut.

However, this experience has somehow given me more wonder in my mind and increased my sensitivity. My interest in dreams, surealism, and mysticism developed through art, movies, or documentations, and as time goes on, I feel increasingly alienated from society and even from my family. It’s about not feeling like you belong somewhere, not about not loving people. Some things make me feeling alone, cause i don’t know how to share. Feelings that seems so far away of this reality.

This world is complicated and multidimensional because there are so many unanswered questions. As I wait to understand something, I feel like I’m falling into an endless void.

Sometime i feel that i want to disapear, thinking that it doesnt make any difference. I don’t even understand what this life is about, so why should I continue? There are so many misunderstandings, but they don’t cover up the magic and beauty I see all around me. I’m confused as to why we don’t leave the best of us, which makes me feel lost. why is there such suffering? Why do pain, control, kiling, and manipulation coexist in the same space as all those mysterious dreams and experiences?

There is so much beautiful nature and so much trash to see. Is the world chaotic, or is it my mind?

The people who made me feel like I belonged are few, and they shared qualities like calmness, peace, empathy, motivation, humor, intelligence, wisdom, craziness and love.

we are all touch by this society, so we carry and share so much of the ugly. rage, frustration, negativity that we try to hide with money, drinks, entertainment, futility, but we still share those negativity to our friends, child, nature…

seem like not much people are motivated to move past their personal struggles, fights, and dreams while also trying to live outside of society’s norms and without fear or justification.

As a result, I have another, unique inner feeling about life. This life looks out for you and reflects who you are. It seems like everything I see is a reflection of my own reality. Magic happens when I let go of control, and everyone I meet possesses magic. Since the day I received this compliment, I have been sharing my inner and mystical world through art and better expressing myself through it. Therefore, it’s possible that I actually followed the astronaut through the wall and into a new dimension to experience.