I heard voices through the wall

When i was a child, I heard a voice through the wall calling me « Edddy, come!  ». When i woke up, I saw fingers passing through the same wall, then all the body, from an astronaut, still calling me « Edddy, Come with us ». I was really scared and run in the corridor screaming. My uncle said to me to go back to sleep. The day after, telling the story to my friends, i draw on the flor and someone compliment my drawing. i was maybe 4 years old, but i remember those moment really clearly. The compliment of my friend gave me a really nice feeling, and then i kept on drawing. Then i moved in Belgium with my family, and forgot about this astraunaut. But somehow , this event made me more sensitive or more calme, and a wonder mind. My interesed in dreams, surealism and mystic grew up, trhough art, movies, or documentations and more time pass more i feel disconected from the society, even from my family. Its not about not loving people, its about not feelings belonging somewhere. I can share a lot, but something i am not able to share, is my feeling in front of reality.

There is so much questions that make this world multidimentional and tricky. I feel like falling into a infiniti void, waiting to understand something.

Sometime i feel that i want to disapear, thinking that it doesnt make any difference. that i dont even know what this is, so why should i keep on? So much confusions that dosnt hide the beauty also that i see around me, the magic. i feel lost because i dont understand why we dont leave the best of us? why so much sufferances? why all those enigmatic dreams and expreiances live in the same space than sufferance and control, kiling, manipulation?

So much trash to see and also so much beautyfull nature. Is it the world chaotic or my mind.

When i stay in silence, i feel good, then i take care we who i want to stay and where. when i adapt to the other, its for me another way to fall into someting that will destroy me.

Few are the poeple that gave me the feeling of belonging, and those are the one that share calmness, peacefullness, empathy, motivations, humour, intelligence, wisdom, love…

we are all touch by this society, so we carry and share so much of the ugly. rage, frustration, negativity that we try to cover with money, drinks, entertainment, futility, but we still share those negativity to our friends, child, nature…

seem like not much people are interest to overcome they own trauma, fights, follow they dreams, trying to not fit to society, and shosing a life they design, with no fear and no excuses.

so what i feel inside, is something else, its a special feeling about life. This life that take care of you, that mirror s you. Is like everything i see is a projection of my own world, and the magic come when i let go of the control, and the magic is inside everybody i meet.